By Missionary Dr. Cassandra Rankine
Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it remains one of the least understood. People often imagine grief as a single emotion, usually sadness, but in reality, it’s a complex psychological process that touches every part of a person’s inner world. When someone is grieving, their mental health can shift in ways that feel confusing, overwhelming, or even frightening.
Understanding how grief affects mental health not only normalizes the experience but also helps people recognize when they need support.
1. Emotional Waves That Feel Unpredictable
Grief rarely moves in a straight line. People may cycle through sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, relief, confusion, and even joy. These emotional shifts can feel destabilizing, leading many to wonder if something is “wrong” with them. In reality, these waves are a natural part of the brain and body adjusting to loss.
2. Cognitive Changes That Disrupt Daily Functioning
Grief can temporarily alter how the brain processes information. Many people experience:
Difficulty concentrating
Forgetfulness
Mental fog or slowed thinking
Trouble making decisions
These cognitive symptoms can mimic depression or anxiety, which is why grieving individuals often feel like they’re “not themselves.
3. Changes in Self-Identity and Meaning
Loss often forces people to re-evaluate who they are and how they understand the world. Questions like “Who am I without this person?” or “What does life mean now?” can surface unexpectedly. This identity disruption can lead to existential anxiety, hopelessness, or a sense of disconnection from others.
4. Heightened Stress Response
Grief activates the body’s stress system. The brain interprets loss as a threat, which can lead to:
Irritability
Restlessness
Hypervigilance
Sleep disturbances
Physical tension
When the nervous system stays activated for long periods, it can contribute to anxiety, burnout, or emotional exhaustion.
5. Guilt and Self-Blame
Many grieving individuals wrestle with “what ifs” and “should haves.” Even when guilt isn’t rooted in reality, it can feel deeply true. Persistent guilt can erode self-esteem, fuel depressive symptoms, and interfere with healing.
6. Social Withdrawal or Feeling Misunderstood
Grief can make people feel isolated—even when surrounded by support. They may withdraw because:
They don’t want to burden others
They feel pressure to “be strong.”
They sense others are uncomfortable with their pain
This isolation can intensify sadness and contribute to loneliness or depression.
7. Risk of Complicated or Prolonged Grief
While most grief softens over time, some individuals become stuck in intense emotional pain that doesn’t ease. This can lead to:
Persistent yearning
Difficulty accepting the loss
Avoidance of reminders
Inability to re-engage with life
When grief becomes prolonged or complicated, mental health support is essential.
8. The Possibility of Growth
It’s important to acknowledge that grief doesn’t only create distress. Many people eventually experience:
Increased resilience
Deeper empathy
Greater clarity about values
A renewed sense of purpose
This doesn’t minimize the pain—it simply reflects the human capacity to adapt and find meaning after loss.
Final Thoughts
Grief affects mental health in profound and varied ways. It’s not a sign of weakness, instability, or failure; it’s evidence of love, connection, and humanity. When people understand the psychological impact of grief, they’re better equipped to navigate it with compassion for themselves and others.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Publishing. (Provides diagnostic criteria for prolonged grief disorder and related mental‑health impacts.)
Bonanno, G. A. (2009). The other side of sadness: What the new science of bereavement tells us about life after loss. Basic Books. (Explores emotional waves, resilience, and variability in grief responses.)
Center for Complicated Grief. (n.d.). Columbia University School of Social Work. https://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu (complicatedgrief.columbia.edu in Bing) (Defines complicated/prolonged grief and associated mental‑health symptoms.)
Kubler‑Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss. Scribner. (Foundational work on emotional processes and meaning‑making.)
Neimeyer, R. A. (2012). Techniques of grief therapy: Creative practices for counseling the bereaved. Routledge. (Discusses identity shifts, meaning reconstruction, and therapeutic approaches.)
Shear, M. K. (2015). Complicated grief. New England Journal of Medicine, 372(2), 153–160. (Clinical overview of prolonged grief and its mental‑health impacts.)
Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The dual process model of coping with bereavement. Death Studies, 23(3), 197–224. (Explains oscillation between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented coping—supports the “waves” concept.)
Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1–18. (Provides evidence for growth and meaning making after loss.)
Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (4th ed.). Springer Publishing. (Discusses tasks of mourning and mental‑health impacts.)